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Updated: Nov 9, 2019

Let’s face it men, REAL women want us to be sensual WITHOUT it always leading to sex; intimacy WITHOUT intercourse; and affection WITHOUT an erection.  Tough medicine to swallow, yes, but it’s true. So what is a man to do?

I’m challenging every married man who’s somewhat “intimately challenged” or who would just like to see his wife light up like the 4th of July, take the “31-Day Intimacy Challenge.”

For the next 31 days, I want you to take ONE action towards building intimacy with your wife.  Each action listed will take less than 30 minutes ( most of them less than 30 seconds).

Now before you dismiss this, thinks it’s corny, or doubt if it will work, simply ask yourself, “Is she worth it?”  And if you think it’s too difficult or you’re too afraid/nervous to take any of these simple actions, ask yourself, “Why is that?” and “What does this say about my relationship with her?”  But after 31 days, I want you to honestly evaluate and see if your wife doesn’t respond to you better, both physically and emotionally.  I know this will work, because the women we surveyed for this article told us so. So there. =)

Real Men Connect (RMC) simply asked women: “What little things could your husband do to satisfy your need for intimacy?” 

And this is what they said (in no particular order):

  1. Be present with her, in the moment, with no distractions (give eye contact) when you’re talking to her

  2. Hold her hand while driving in the car

  3. Sincerely ask and be genuinely curious about her day (listen and ask questions)

  4. Gently touch her as she walks by you (not grope her)

  5. Rub her shoulders

  6. Rub her feet while you’re watching TV

  7. Play footsie with her while in the restaurant (or at the dinner table)

  8. Give her an unexpected kiss as she walks by you

  9. Cuddle/hold her at night (without sex)

  10. Greet her with a kiss

  11. Be the last to let go when you hug her

  12. Give her a surprise back massage

  13. Hold/hug her from behind

  14. Dance with her (with or without music)

  15. Kiss her on the back of her neck in the middle of the night

  16. Hold her right after you wake up in the morning (before you get out of the bed)

  17. Play with/ask to help her brush her hair (do it gently)

  18. Sit next to her in the living room while watching TV (not across the room from her)

  19. Say to her softly, “Come here and let me hold you”

  20. Grab and hold her hand in public

  21. Sincerely compliment her on something about her appearance

  22. Thank her for and compliment her on the dinner she prepared

  23. Tell her and thank her for “having your back” (when she least expect it)

  24. Bring her flowers just because

  25. Tell her that she’s a great Mom/wife (just because)

  26. Offer to wash her feet when she’s taking a bath

  27. Run/prepare a bath for her (if she’s had a long day)

  28. Send her a flirtatious text message in the middle of the day

  29. Hold her hand in bed until you or she falls asleep

  30. Leave her a “I love you/Just thinking of you” card or note

  31. Offer to pray for her (while holding her hand)

People say that the little things mean a lot. But according to women, most people are wrong, because women say, “The little things mean EVERYTHING.”  And we also know that the Word of God says, “If we’re faithful in the LITTLE things, our Heavenly Father will trust and bless us with even more.”  So I have to believe this also includes the woman God gave us, as well as a much more intimate sex life with her.  

So let the intimacy begin.

Please feel free to share this CHALLENGE with any other man you know who’s “intimately challenged.” And if trust is an obstacle that might be standing in the way of you building and establishing more intimacy with your wife, then download a copy of the Rebuilding Trust Blueprint: 40 Things You Can Do to Restore Your Marriage right now.

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