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Updated: Sep 10, 2020

how to be a better husband

Be honest, the day you decided you couldn’t live without your wife and you asked her to marry you, did you imagine your marriage would be where it is now? I’m talking emotionally, physically, spiritually, and yes, even sexually?

Be honest, is your marriage what you expected it to be? Is this the life you imagined on your wedding day?

Yes, I know you love your wife, but you may also be feeling dissatisfied, a little frustrated, and need I say, even tired of being married.  Your wife thinks you’re the problem, and you think she’s the problem, and you’re each passing blame like a bad game of tag.  Is this even remotely true for you?

Lord Byron, the British poet and politician, once wrote,

“It is easier to die for the woman you love than to live with her.”

He wrote that nearly 200 years ago.

Are you kidding me?  Yet, many men feel the same way about their wives today and find themselves living lives of what I call, “marriage desperation.”

how a man should treat his wife

You know what I’m talking about.  I’m talking about the man who finds himself asking…

“What happened to the woman I used to talk to on the phone for hours when we were dating, but I can’t seem to talk to for minutes without it leading to an argument?”

“What happened to us sharing our dreams about the things we wanted to do and places we wanted to go, and now we rarely do anything or go anywhere together (without the kids)?”

“What happened to the woman, who once couldn’t keep her hands off of me, but now she doesn’t even want to be touched, let alone have sex?”

“What happened to the excitement I used to feel about coming home and seeing her every day after work?

This man may be asking all the right questions, but he's coming up short on any acceptable answers. He's tried so hard to do everything right in order to have the marriage he always wanted, but he's driving home every day to a woman he loves but is struggling to like and live with.

When did marriage become so hard?

Most men already know that nearly 50 percent of marriages in the United States end in divorce (mostly each initiated by women leaving men devastated and hopeless with no support system to recover).

But did you know:

• 60 percent of second marriages end in divorce.

• 73 percent of third marriages end in divorce. 

• In America, there is one divorce approximately every 36 seconds. That’s nearly 2,400 divorces per day, 16,800 divorces per week and 876,000 divorces a year.

• The average length of a marriage that ends in divorce is eight years.

And with men being 3x more likely to become alcohol, porn, and drug dependent – masking their problems rather than facing and solving them, you’d think men would reach out for help with their marriage. But the truth is, men are less likely to reach out for support than women.

Every man wants a happy marriage; but very few men know what they can do to fix a bad one.  So, where do you start?  What do you do?

how should a man treat his wife

Most “experts” would say, grab your wife and get couples counseling quickly. But according to statistics from Psychology Today, most people who go to marriage counseling end up getting divorced anyway.  So, instead of living “happily ever after,” it’s more likely to end up, “too little too late.”

In hindsight, many men are now realizing that of all the ways to “fix” their marriage, marriage counseling is probably the least effective and most expensive.  But most men think counseling is the only option available; but there is also the option of marriage coaching.

Most men don’t know about it, and very few counselors talk about it publicly, even though they secretly recommend it to clients who can’t afford their fees.  And if you’re serious about saving your marriage, you might want to prayerfully consider marriage coaching as a first option before you consider counseling as your last.