Christian Marriage Advice For Modern Men
If you’re married, or you’re soon-to-be married, you’re probably looking for ways to be a better husband. And trust me, the world is not short on giving you advice on how to improve your marriage. I should know, because I’ve been in the marriage improvement space of writing, video creation, speaking, mentoring, trainng, teaching, and creating content for Christian men in crisis for the last 10 years.
So, when I was asked to write an article sharing Christian Marriage Tips, I wanted to try something different that I haven’t seen or done before. One, I wanted to give more than just 3-5 tips to help your marriage; and two, I wanted to share tips that were action-driven, not just general ideas.
Christian Marriage Tips You Can Use Starting Today
So, let’s get to it. Here are 26 actionable, Christian marriage tips (from A to Z) that will help you strengthen and succeed in your marriage:
A - Give your wife your undivided ATTENTION by eliminating all distractions (including TV and cell phones) whenever you’re engaging in a conversation with her.
B – BUILD UP and reinforce your wife’s identity in Christ (i.e., how God sees her) more than complimenting her on her physical beauty and appearance.
C – CONCENTRATE on your marriage; stop comparing and coveting other people’s marriages you see on social media, in the media, at church, or in your community.
D – DECIDE today that the word “divorce” will never be spoken by either one of you in your marriage, no matter how tough it gets.
E – Honestly and openly EXPRESS your feelings to your wife, but don’t allow yourself to be controlled by those emotions.
F – FLEE FROM, don’t flirt with, temptation or anything else that draws your attention, adoration, and affection away from your wife.
G – GIVE your wife what you desire most from her and in your marriage.
H – Always try to offer HELP to your wife before she has to ask you for it.
I – IDENTIFY the reasons you wouldn’t want to be married to you (i.e., your blind spots), and then humbly ask God to help you work on those things.
J – Attempt to make your wife laugh by JOKING more about yourself than you do by making fun of her.
K – KEEP a good, long list of all the reasons why you married and fell in love with your wife; and review it periodically.
L – LISTEN to God’s voice before you listen to your feelings, family, or friends concerning your wife or your marriage.
M – MAKE SURE you don’t let a day go by without telling or texting your wife that you love her.
N – NEVER put your children above your marriage; and never put your wife above God.
O – Always look for opportunities in your marriage to OUT SERVE and out give your wife.
P – PRAY for and with your wife as if (and as much as) you would want her to pray for you.
Q – Remain QUIET for at least 10 seconds before responding to your wife when you’re feeling angry, afraid, or hurt by her actions.
R – RESPECT your wife by never saying anything to her that God wouldn’t approve of or say about you.
S – SHARE your secrets and struggles, as well as your successes, with your wife and not with another woman or another man’s wife.
T – Tell your wife the whole TRUTH about everything, but spare her the details about everything, unless she asks.
U – Seek to UNDERSTAND your wife better before seeking to be understood.
V – VALUE your wife’s opinion by asking her for it when you’re struggling with a decision, action, or response to something important to you.
W – WAIT patiently, by taking off your watch (i.e., no set time limits), when it comes to allowing your wife to heal from any hurt, wound, or pain you’ve caused her.
Y – Be willing to YIELD and submit to what God wants and desires for your marriage more so than what you think you need from your wife.
X – Always ask God to X-RAY/eX-amine your heart before you seek to be sexually intimate with your wife.
Z – ZESTFULLY love your wife the most when she thinks she deserves it the least.
The Best 'Godly' Marriage Advice Is To Start Small
Of course, it would be great if every husband applied all these tips in his marriage; but the truth be told, any one of these actionable Christian marriage tips could potentially be a relationship game changer. That’s why it’s more important for you to strive for continual progress in your marriage rather than to try to achieve perfection. God wants you to have a “faithful” marriage, not a perfect one.
As the saying goes, “The journey of a thousand miles always starts with the first step.” So, take your first step today by starting with the letter “A.”
