Improve the Communication in Your Marriage
Are you a man with good intentions for your marriage, but your communication skills still seem subpar? This article is for you. Today I'm summarizing the wisdom from my podcast with Eric Terry Sr., a certified marriage coach and relationship maestro with over two decades of happy marriage under his belt. In his powerful episode, we delved deep into the complex world of how to communicate with your wife better. We discussed the art of active listening, the pitfalls of bringing up past conflicts, and strategies for providing affirmation without escalating tensions. I get it—another piece on marriage might make you sigh, but hold up! I'm laying down real talk that sidesteps the usual "expert" spiel on crafting a Christ-centered union. I promise, it will be worth your time. Let's dive in!
You Need New Skills if You Want to Learn How to Communicate With Your Wife Better
Communication skills are a set of habits. They are affected by your families past, the trends of your relationship and how you may be feeling in the moment. These next 6 tips are a great way to reframe your mindset and establish new techniques for improving overall communication.
Communicate With Your Wife Better, Tip 1 - The Silence Hack for Heated Moments
First things first, let's get into dealing with those fiery marriage moments when things are about to blow up. In the chaos of conflict, pressing that pause button and embracing silence can bridge you back to sanity. It's not about icing out your spouse; it's about giving space to cool those engines and dodge saying something you can't take back.
Learning how to take a breath, and allow silence to occur will enable you to gain perspective and switch to active listening mode. Most times when we are in heated arguments with our spouse, our communication style is reactionary. It is important to step back and take a moment of silence in order to gain perspective, keep our respect levels high, and not say something that we don't mean.
Communicate With Your Wife Better, Tip 2 - Building Security With Affirmation
It is really hard to focus on what we love about our partner when we are in a negative head space, or are focusing on what is bothering us about them. Instead of critiquing your wife, change the focus and build her up. Affirm your love and support of her through using positive language about her appearance, her intelligence, her heart – these sentiments will make her feel secure in your love, which will in turn change the way your interact with one another.
Communicate With Your Wife Better, Tip 3 - Swap “But” for “And”
This tiny change is a mighty one! When engaging in conversation, especially conflict with your spouse drop "but" for "and". This small linguistic change will keep the good vibes rolling and pave the way for improvement without wiping out the positive.
Communicate With Your Wife Better, Tip 4 - Don’t Bring In Past Conflicts in Present Conversations
Now, on to dragging old skeletons into today's disputes. This habit has got to go. Bringing up past conflicts will only display that your partner can't trust your word. It will make them feel betrayed and will only inflate the current issue you may be facing. Make sure to bury old issues, vs. bookmarking them for round two.
Communicate With Your Wife Better, Tip 5 - Use the “What Do You Need From Me” Game (Changer)
Have you ever paused in a spat with your lady and asked, "What do you need from me right now?" Pure gold, gents—this simple question can take the heat out of a heated exchange. Say it with a heart open, and you're inviting a moment of reflection and connection.
Communicate With Your Wife Better, Tip 6 - Effective Conflict Resolution
Avoiding clashes is not the move; facing and processing them is the real deal. Sometimes in order to engage in a "healthy conflict", there need to be some ground rules set out like; how long are we going to spend on this discussion? What boundaries do you need to have in place to have the other person feel heard, safe and respected.
Talking Through Difficulties in Our Marriages Isn’t Easy
As modern-day (Christian) men it is our duty to tackle our weaknesses head-on, putting away the gadgets that distract us, and going all-in with our attention. When you married your wife, you made a promise to her to be an extraordinary husband and leader. And when we get the communication game right, man... we’re not just talking anymore; we're connecting on a whole new level. Stay blessed, fellas, and like I always say, let's make the choice every day to be the men God wants us to be.