When to Walk Away from Toxic People (EP:1007)

When Loving Everyone Is Killing You: The Biblical Case for Walking Away

We've been told to love everyone, turn the other cheek, and never give up on people. But what if that advice is destroying your peace, your family, and your God-given mission? Bestselling author Gary Thomas (Sacred Marriage) joins us to share game-changing insights from his new book When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People. Spoiler alert: Jesus walked away from toxic people 41 times in the Gospels—and He never apologized for it. If you're exhausted from trying to fix people who refuse to change, this episode will give you the biblical permission and practical strategies you need to protect your peace and refocus on your purpose.

Here are three key highlights from Gary's journey:

1. Toxic vs. Difficult: Know the Difference Not all difficult people are toxic. Gary breaks down the critical distinction: "All toxic people are difficult, but not all difficult people are toxic." Toxic people exhibit three key traits—they're control mongers, they have a murderous spirit (destroying peace and relationships), and they love to hate. Difficult people may challenge you, but toxic people actively destroy you.

2. Jesus' Defensive Strategy: Don't Give Pearls to Swine Most Christians focus on spiritual offense (Matthew 6:33—"Seek first the kingdom"), but Gary reveals that Jesus immediately followed that with a defensive strategy in Matthew 7:6: "Do not give what is holy to dogs...or they will turn and tear you to pieces." Championship teams need both offense AND defense. If you only play offense spiritually, toxic people will take you out.

3. Being Hated by Toxic People Is the Price of Being Loved by God This might be the most freeing truth in the entire episode. Gary shares: "Being hated by toxic people is a price to being loved by God." When you stand for truth and righteousness, opposition isn't a sign of failure—it's a sign you're on the right path. Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake.

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Gary Thomas is a writer-in-residence at Second Baptist Church in Houston, Texas, and an adjunct faculty member teaching on spiritual formation at Western Seminary in Portland, Oregon, and Houston Theological Seminary in Houston, Texas.

He is the author of nineteen books including the highly popular Sacred Marriage, also Sacred Pathways, Cherish, Sacred Parenting, and the Gold Medallion Award-winning Authentic Faith. 

Gary has a master's degree from Regent College, where he studied under Dr. J.I. Packer, and was awarded an honorary doctorate in divinity from Western Seminary. Gary has spoken in forty-nine states and ten different countries. He has appeared numerous times on various national radio and television programs, including CBN, Focus on the family. and Family Life Today. 

To contact Gary or to get a copy of his book (When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People), just go to his website: http://www.GaryThomas.com 

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