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Spanking Your Children God's Way (EP:975)



A Father's Biblical Approach to Spanking

Is there a right way and a wrong way to discipline your children? In one of our most thought-provoking conversations yet, I sit down with Frederic Gray—father of six, national speaker, and founder of Fathers of Faith and Daughters of Excellence retreat—to discuss what might be the most controversial topic in Christian parenting: spanking.


But this isn't your typical debate about whether or not to use corporal punishment. Frederic shares something revolutionary: how he's transformed discipline from a moment of anger into a sacred ritual that draws his children closer to God and deeper into relationship with him. From the songs he created to teach obedience, to the step-by-step process he follows that includes prayer, Scripture reading, and reaffirmation of love, Frederic reveals how biblical discipline can actually strengthen the parent-child bond rather than damage it.


Whether you're a new father wondering how to handle defiance, or you've struggled with finding the balance between grace and discipline, this conversation will challenge everything you thought you knew about raising godly children. Get ready for a paradigm shift on one of parenting's most difficult topics.


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Spanking Your Children God's Way (EP:975)

Here are the steps Frederic outlined for us:


When to spank: When they clearly understand the rules they broke and your expectations of them.

  1. Make sure they understand that the most important thing to do is obey God.

  2. Find a private place to spank them.

  3. Speak super gentle to them and without anger.

  4. Have them tell you what they were supposed to do, but didn't.

  5. Ask them: "Did you obey Daddy?"

  6. Ask them: "Did you obey God?"

  7. Share a verse from the Bible on discipline (Ex. Prov. 13:24).

  8. Ask them: "What is God telling me to do?" (child: to spank me)

  9. Ask them: "If I don't spank you, am I obeying God?"

  10. Tell them: "I want to obey God, because I love you and I love God."

  11. Ask them (again):"Do you know why I'm going to give you a spanking?"

  12. Pray with them BEFORE you spank them (while holding them close).

  13. Use the rod/paddle (NOT your hand) when spanking your child.

  14. Hit them only on the bottom (let it hurt, but don't damage them).

  15. Lay with them afterwards to comfort them and affirm them.


Frederic Gray is a national speaker, author, and the founder of the Fathers of Faith and Daughters of Excellence Retreat in Tampa, Florida. He’s a husband and a father of five (5) (2 boys, 3 girls, from ages 12 to 1) with one more on the way, and he’s passionate about teaching fathers how to win the hearts of their children. He’s also the author of “How to Win Your Children’s Heart Using God’s Word.”


To connect with Frederic Gray, you can visit his websites at either: http://www.FredericGray.com or http://wwww.FatherDaughterRetreat.com.


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