Overcoming Homosexuality: A Powerful Testimony of Faith

From Gay Bars to Grace: One Man's 20-Year Journey Out

Bob Fyfe wasn't casually involved in the gay lifestyle—he was immersed. President of the Gay Business Council. Manager of gay bars. Player in the Gay World Series. For more than 20 years, he pursued that life with everything he had.

But it all started with confusion at age 13 when his sister's boyfriend molested him. Without a healthy male identity (his father was abusive and absent), Bob misread what happened. He thought it might be normal. He had no framework to understand same-sex attraction, so he embraced it.

Years later, Bob met Audrey at a Bible study. They courted for six years and married. They had a son, Sean. But Bob never told Audrey about his past with same-sex attraction—a decision he deeply regrets. Eventually, the truth came out, and Bob left his family to pursue the gay lifestyle fully.

For over a decade, Bob had no contact with his son. Then Sean showed up at his apartment. When Bob asked if Sean knew about his lifestyle, his son replied, "Yes, I do, Dad." That word—Dad—pierced Bob's heart. Then Sean said: "My love for you is unconditional."

That moment became the catalyst for Bob's journey out.

Three Key Highlights:

1. The Power of Unconditional Love Bob spent his entire life chasing conditional love—perform, look good, meet expectations. In the gay world, everything came with conditions. When his son Sean introduced him to unconditional love (both his own and God's), something broke open in Bob's heart. He realized he'd been pursuing satisfaction in all the wrong places, and only Christ could truly satisfy.

2. Identity, Not Orientation Bob challenges the "born this way" narrative from personal experience. He explains that we're all born asexual, and environmental factors shape our sexual development. For him, it was childhood molestation, an absent/abusive father, and lack of healthy male identity. The breakthrough came when Bob learned to stop sexualizing every interaction and developed healthy, non-sexual relationships with other men in the church.

3. Love Them Out, Don't Condemn Them Out Bob's advice to churches is revolutionary: stop focusing on the "fruits" of homosexuality and focus on the "root"—relationship with Jesus Christ. He doesn't condone the lifestyle, but he doesn't condemn either. Instead, he mentors men by helping them grow in Christ, trusting the Holy Spirit to convict of sin. As Bob says, "I loved my friend Frank out of homosexuality over many years—I didn't condemn him out."

Today, Bob has been free from the gay lifestyle for over 20 years. He mentors men and women seeking to leave same-sex attraction behind, pointing them to the grace and redemption found only in Christ. His message is clear: transformation is possible when you pursue God with the same intensity you once pursued the world.

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Bob Fife is an Ontario-based business man and a former practicing homosexual. Bob, along with Ron Hughes, is the author of OUT – One Christian’s Experience of Leaving the Gay Community. He has been out of the gay lifestyle for more than 20 years. Now reconnected with the church, he hopes his story points a way to grace and redemption. Today he devotes his time to mentoring men and women who are looking for alternative ways to deal with same-sex attraction.  

To contact Bob or to ask him any questions, you can visit him at http://www.bobsexperience.com or email him at bobfife470@gmail.com 

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