7 Ways To Forgive A Cheating Wife (A Biblical Approach)

Dr. Joe Martin
Apr 16
6 min read

What Does The Bible Say About Forgiveness For Cheating?

Let's be honest... There's a kind of pain only a man betrayed by the woman he loves can understand. You gave her your heart. You gave her your name. You worked, prayed, sacrificed, and she still betrayed you.

Maybe she came clean. Maybe you found out. Maybe she blamed you. Maybe she cried and begged. But deep down, you're still stuck. Angry. Confused. Asking the same haunting question:

"How do I forgive her, when I can't forget what she did?"

By God's grace, I've never felt that kind of pain, but I have definitely caused it. I was the unfaithful one in my first marriage. So, I'm not writing as a preacher from a pulpit, but as a man who's lived on the other side of betrayal, carrying the guilt of wounding someone I loved. This isn't a list of Sunday school clichés. This is a battle plan. For your heart. Your healing. Your future.

how to forgive a cheating wife bible verse

Let's walk through 7 practical, soul-healing steps to forgiveness.

What Is Forgiveness? A Biblical Context

1. Acknowledge the Wound (Don't Pretend You're Okay)

The world says, "Real men don't cry." But Jesus Christ did. Jesus was betrayed by someone close, Judas. He was denied by Peter. He was abandoned by His friends. And He didn't pretend it didn't hurt.

David said in Psalm 55:12-14: "If an enemy were insulting me, I could endure it... But it is you, a man like myself, my companion, my close friend…"

Sound familiar?

You're not weak for feeling wrecked. You're real. Too many men try to "man up" by numbing their pain, through porn, alcohol, work, or isolation. But you can't heal what you won't reveal. And God won't heal what you try to conceal. You need to be honest, first with yourself, and then with God.

Real Men Example: Write it down. Everything. What happened. How you feel. Your rage. Your shame. Your questions. Then take that journal to God. It's not for her. It's for your healing.

2. Use Prayer As A Tool For Forgiveness

Before you blow up her phone… Before you curse her out or call your boys or expose her on social media…Go to God. Not with polished, fancy prayers. With real talk.

"I hate her right now." "I don't want to forgive her." "God, why didn't You stop this?"

He can handle it. Jesus cried out, "Father, why have You forsaken Me?" Don't you think God can handle your questions too? Luke 23:34 reminds us Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do."

That wasn't just for soldiers or sinners. That's for you. That's for her.

Real Men Example: Instead of texting her when the anger spikes, kneel and pray: "Heavenly Father, I don't want to forgive her. But I want to want to. Help me start." You don't have to feel it to faith it.

3. What Does Forgiveness Mean? (Know What It Is and What It's NOT)

Let's clear this up: Forgiveness is NOT forgetting. It's NOT giving your wife a free pass. It's NOT pretending it didn't hurt. Forgiveness is releasing your right to punish.

Romans 12:19 says, "Do not take revenge… 'It is mine to avenge; I will repay,' says the Lord God."

Forgiveness doesn't mean skipping consequences. But it does mean you won't let bitterness rule your life.

Real Men Example: Think of it this way, every time you hold onto bitterness, it's like drinking poison and expecting her to die. Let God be the judge. You focus on healing.

Bonus Tip: Write her name on a piece of paper and physically place it on your Bible. That simple act tells God: "She's in Your hands, not mine."

Forgiveness In Marriage Is Essential For Healing

4. Commit to the Process (Don't Rush the Pain)

Forgiveness is not a finish line; it's a daily decision.

One of my coaching clients told me, "I thought I forgave her… until I saw a picture of them on social media. I lost it."

Yeah, you will. That's normal. It's a process. A grind.

Jesus told Peter in Matthew 18:21-22 that forgiveness isn't seven times, but seventy-seven times.

It's not a math lesson; it's a mindset.

Real Men Example: Set a daily alarm on your phone that says: "I choose grace, not grudges. I'm forgiving her today."

You're not doing this alone. You need brothers. The Real Men 300 exists for this reason -- to walk with men through the mess. To call you higher, hold you up, and fight for your heart.

What does the bible say about cheating and forgiveness

5. Be Willing To Forgive Without Conditions

Let me ask you something: Would you want Christ Jesus' forgiveness only after you repented perfectly?

Romans 5:8 says: "While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

If Jesus waited on us to get it right, we'd all be doomed. Forgiveness is not based on her actions; it's based on your obedience to Christ.

Does that mean you trust her again immediately? No. Does it mean you let her off the hook? Nope. It means you love like Jesus, even if she doesn't deserve it.

Real Men Example: Every time you feel tempted to withhold love until she earns it, pray: "God, thank You for loving me when I was unlovable. Help me show her that same grace."

That's real manhood.

Coping With Infidelity: From Pain To Purpose

6. Use the Pain as Fuel, Not a Crutch

Pain can either trap you in the past or launch you into purpose. The enemy wants you bitter. God wants you better.

Genesis 50:20 says: "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good…" Don't waste this wound.

Real Men Example: Start building something.

A stronger walk with God
A healthier relationship with your kids
A deeper connection with brothers in Christ

One brother in the Real Men 300 turned his pain into a purpose and now mentors other betrayed husbands. What the devil meant to destroy him, God used to develop him. Your marriage may not survive. But you will.

And you can become the man your children respect, your brothers admire, and your future self is proud of.

Particular Bible Verses about Forgiving A Cheating Spouse

7. Decide Who You Want to Be After This

You didn't choose the betrayal, but you get to choose what happens next. Will you be the man who:

Shuts down emotionally?
Turns to porn, alcohol, or anger?
Becomes controlling, bitter, or cynical?

Or…

Will you be the man who:

Forgives, even when it's hard?
Leads with integrity?
Rises stronger, wiser, and more godly?

Real Men Example: Ask yourself this question out loud: "What would the man I want to be… do right now?" Not the man you feel like being. Not the man your emotions want to become. The man God's calling you to be.

Should Christians Forgive Adultery?

The Bible is clear that when a spouse commits adultery, it is a serious violation of the marriage covenant. Jesus himself acknowledged adultery as grounds for divorce in Matthew 19:9. However, the Holy Spirit can empower us to forgive even the most painful betrayals, just as Christ forgave us.

Forgiveness doesn't mean you must stay in the marriage. Whether your wife shows a repentant heart or continues being sexually immoral, forgiveness is still commanded by God. It frees you, regardless of what she does.

As Colossians 3:13 says, "Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you."

Affair Recovery: How Real Men 300 Can Help

I know this isn't easy. You're walking through fire. But you don't have to walk it alone. The Real Men 300 is our private, powerful brotherhood built for warriors like you, men who refuse to let betrayal destroy their faith or future. We don't coddle. We coach. We don't judge. We journey with you.

You'll get: