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The 5 Types of Men: Which One Are You?

I had an opportunity to speak at the Iron Sharpens Iron Men’s Conference in Chattanooga, Tennessee, and my topic was “Man’s Greatest Challenge.”  I told a group of about 500+ men that man’s greatest challenge is deciding every day the type of man he’s going to be, in his home, on his job/business, and in his community.


Without exception, I believe every man, whether he's a Christian or not, has five options. I know this is true, because unfortunately, I’ve been all five types. And each type of man has an impact on the type of husband, father, and leader he will be.  So, what are those five types of men?

1. The Whiner:

This is the man who gets up most mornings and chooses to be paralyzed by his past. He finds it difficult to move forward in life because he’s constantly looking backwards. He chooses to blame his present struggles on his past problems. The result is that he becomes what I call a “Why Baby.”  He asks questions like:

  • "Why did that happen to me?"

  • "Why didn’t that happen for me?"

  • "Why him (or them) and why not me?"

2. The Worrier:

This is the man who is not paralyzed by his past, but he’s fearful of the future because he’s constantly looking ahead. He’s afraid to move forward. But unlike the Whiner, the Worrier doesn’t ask “Why?” because he’s too busy asking himself, “What if?”

  • "What IF this happens?"

  • "What IF that happens?"

  • "What IF this doesn’t happen?"

3. The Waiter:

This is the man who is indecisive in the present. He isn’t satisfied where he is, and he wants things to change, but he’s not willing to make any changes. He’s waiting for a miracle or act of God to change his circumstances or situation. He expects to be rescued (by God or someone else) and reap the rewards with little or no effort on his part.

For instance, he wants his marriage to improve, but he’s not willing to go to counseling. He wants to stop watching pornography, but he won’t join a support group. He wants a better relationship with his children, but he won’t spend more time with them and make them a priority.

4. The Wounded:

This is the man who lives in isolation and suffers in silence.  He’s still hurting from his past, he feels helpless in the moment, and he feels hopeless about his future. He’s stuck in shame and guilt, and it’s difficult for him to talk about it, because he finds it very difficult to trust anyone. He’s either too angry, too afraid, or too ashamed to move forward, so he doubts himself, others, and even God. So, he avoids being around and being authentic and transparent with other men.

5. The Warrior:

This is the man who doesn’t whine about his past; he doesn’t worry about his future; he’s not waiting to be rescued from his present situation; and he’s not afraid of being wounded again, because he’s more concerned about leaving a legacy than living with excuses.  He’s willing to fight for his marriage, his family, his children, and his brothers.  He’s concerned more about his character than his circumstances; his destiny than the detours in his life; and his legacy more than his losses. He’s a fighter, and he’d rather die with a spear in his chest than one in his back.  His motto is, "No retreat, no surrender."  He's willing to win at what matters most and at whatever personal cost to himself.


So, the only question now is, "Which man are you?"

But it doesn't matter where you start as a man; what counts is where you decide to finish. So, if you're ready to start winning as a Warrior, and you're tired of being a Whiner, a Worrier, a Waiter, or Wounded, just click on the button below to get our Real Men Victory Tracker to discover The 5 Things You Can Do Right Now to Start Winning as a Warrior Every Single Day.  Get it for FREE!


My name is Dr. Joe Martin, and I’m the president and founder of the faith-based, men's organization called Real Men Connect (501-c3).  And I’m passionate about helping Christian men win at what matters, and even frustrates them, the most!

Whether you desire to develop a closer walk with God; love and lead your wife and family better; be a better steward of your finances; break a porn or sex addiction; or build real, authentic, brotherhood bonds with other Christian men, we make sure you never have to do life alone and that you never get left behind, regardless of where you’re starting or how long you've been stuck. 

I look forward to connecting with you and helping you overcome your toughest challenge as a man.

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